Naked. Buff. Nude. Stripped. Birthday Suit. Unclad. Bare.

Would you go to a restaurant that would give you the option to eat in the nude and waited on by semi-dressed servers? Apparently, a restaurant in London is the new hot place to go to if this is on your bucket list of things to do.

All should have a sigh of relief because this was NOT a foodie fun day for me. I am just trying to contemplate why anyone would find this exciting.

When I eat, I dribble things. Do I want HOT soup to hit my nipple!? NOOOO! Do I want a crouton to precariously land in my belly button? NOOOO! And I can only imagine the crevices that a green bean could get lodged. YIKES.

Picturing my guy friends turning their calamari or onion rings into a ring toss game makes me shudder. And knowing men, they would notice every woman who was a little cold. (In all fairness, I would notice you boys who were cold too….giggle…shrinkage!)

And what do you sit on? Do they put paper on the seats? Does it smell like antiseptic because I would hope they wipe everything down? I guess they make robes available to the guests so maybe people sit on those.

Where do my big-breasted friends put “them?” Do they rest them on the table? Or tuck them under the tablecloth? What do they do if they are leaning for a piece of bread and they graze the little dipping bowl of olive oil? Do they just wipe it off or do your friends just starting swiping their roll on your rolls?

And where so you hold your hands when you are eating? I normally keep mine in my lap. Would that look odd? Would you really want to share a plate of antipasti with me if you saw my hands come from under the table? Probably not.

From what I have read, the servers and cooks are partially nude too. How many hairnets do they have to wear? (Okay, I just made myself gag with that thought.) Do the chefs get an apron so they don’t splash their bare necessities with hot oil? Even the best chef gets more than his/her hands dirty sometimes.

I get that this establishment is trying to make it a natural restaurant….things there are “unspoiled” by technology etc. But just reading about it spoiled one thing for me….my appetite.

I think we need to start drawing some lines. (Sort of like a dot to dot on the cellulite you will see on your fellow diners!) I get being natural and organic BUT this is too much.

Apparently, I am alone in my thoughts because last I checked there is 32,000-person waiting list!!!! Who are these people and is this just a whim or is it how they dine at home? It makes me rethink eating at a lot of people’s houses!!!

My apologies to all my readers who like to dine in the nude. I really tried to be open minded on this whole process but I think the only thing at your table with dressing optional is your salad!

NUDE Apple/Gorgonzola Salad
Recipe Type: Salad
Author: Felt Like a Foodie
This salad is great because you can eat in raw….if you so chose.
  • 3 cups of your favorite greens (I used a bag lettuce mix)
  • 4 slices of bacon, cooked and crumbled
  • 1 apple, sliced and diced and spritzed with a little lemon water to they don’t brown
  • 1/4 cup marcona almonds (I had some that had some rosemary and salt on them so I used those)
  • 1/4-1/2 cup gorgonzola crumbles (I put only 1/4 cup on the salad and served some on the side in case some of my guests weren’t as crazy about that cheese.)
  • Dressing (optional)
  • 1/4 red wine vinegar
  • 1 Tbsp dijon mustard
  • 1 tsp sugar
  • 1/4 cup- 1/2 cup of olive oil (the good stuff)
  1. In a large bowl, mix up the greens, apple, nuts, bacon and cheese.
  2. Serve as is…undressed…the salad…not you.
  3. If modesty dictates that you want the dressing, just add all the ingredients to a jar and shake it up. (I like a super tart dressing so I go light on the olive oil but if you aren’t that tart….add more oil to your liking.) Just make sure you shake it up so it emulsifies.