I was standing in line at the grocery store the other day and an attractive man was standing beside me tapping at his wrist. (Please note: He was attractive but no where near as cute as my husband!) I thought it was an indication that he was in a hurry and offered to let him in front of me in line.
He smiled and said he wasn’t in a rush, he was just seeing how many steps he had taken today. He then told me 11,000. I kind of shrugged, I don’t know if that is good or not. I got all flushed and embarrassed, what do I say? I don’t know steps. Should I smile or frown? Panic set in…..
So out of the blue, I tried to think of something that was equivalent to steps so I could sound cool too. TEN!!! I shouted TEN!!! He looked at me like I was nuts because I not only said TEN, I said 10….I’ve pooped 10 times today. (People with Crohn’s count their BM’s because doctors ask that kind of stuff.)
Needless to say, this is pretty much where our conversation stopped. Apparently, extreme pooping is nowhere near a trend like other extreme lifestyle events that are popping (popping, not pooping) up.
Everywhere I look, people are trying to take normal things and ramping them up. You can’t do a 5K anymore (I never did them but let’s say I did), you have to do a color run or dirty dash. The joy of going on a hike is now marred unless you climb an ample elevation, walk across water and battle a grizzly bear. Heck, I can’t even take a nap unless I call it a power nap! (Ooooo, I bet I could do well at this sport.)
Nothing can be simple and fun, it has to be radical. I thought about this more today when I was invited by some friends to do a chili potluck but not just chili….”Extreme Chili.” Whaaaat? Extreme Chili? What does that even mean?
Apparently, it is a group that is going to see who can make and eat super hot chilies. I don’t get it. (Maybe they do want to count their bathroom trips? The competitive part of me sort of wants to go because if this is a contest I will win. Maybe I am into this extreme stuff?)
Any which way, I did try a new chili. If you want it to be extreme, you can eat it while perched on your roof in a thunderstorm sporting a thong OR you can just realize that life is momentous enough and enjoy a bowl or two with someone you love.
1.5 pounds ground pork
1.5 pounds ground beef
2 peppers (red/orange/yellow), chopped
1 yellow onion, chopped
2 cans of Rotel tomatoes
1 can of 15 ounce tomato sauce
4 ounces tomato paste
¼ tsp EACH Coleman mustard and toasted cumin
1 TBP EACH Chili powder, Ancho Chili powder, Chipotle Chili powder and gochujang
Optional: Shredded cheese, chopped jalapeno, fried onions, chopped green onions, sour cream
Simple put this is a slow cooker recipe.
Brown/Drain your meat. Add to slow cooker.
If there is a little meat juice in your pan, sauté the peppers and onion for a couple of minutes. You don’t want them incredible soft, just a little softer before you add them to the slowcooker.
Add remaining ingredients except the optional things and stir well.
Put slow cooker on low and let cook 6 hours.
Take a taste. If you say “Sweet Baby Jeepers” call your friend and see if you are still able to go to her party.
If it is just a little hot, put a little dollop of sour cream on top, some cheese and give it a go.
For me this was enough to make my nose run a little.
As for the poor guy in the grocery store, I did see him again but oddly he took off with his cart. Maybe he needed to add some steps or he is starting an extreme grocery shopping challenge.